Mugg Tankardsworth

The dwarf with many secrets He was born behind a rock. No, seriously, his mom was on her way home from the nightshift at the brothel and felt something wasn't as it was supposed to be. So she squatted behind a big rock and out came what she thought was the lunch from earlier. She wiped and went on her way.

Meanwhile, in the grass behind the rock, was a small baby. This baby had no name and was left to fend for himself. Luckily, a blacksmith came skipping along the next day and had to stop for a peebrake. When he was done he heard what could only be described as grunting.. High pitched grunting. And there it was, a peesoaked little bearded baby, all by his lonesome behind a rock... He picked up the little child after wiping it off and saw that this was no ordinary child, but a dwarven baby! He saw his chance to teach this baby his trade and make a profit, because he had heard that dwarves was just naturally good at smithing and mining.

As the months went by, the baby got subjected to everything that was part of the craft and was already wielding a hammer at the age of 2. He was a prodigy. He had no name, so the old blacksmith called him Nails. Because that is what was closest at the time.

As the years went by, the blacksmith grew old and weak, but Nails didn't seem to age like normal people. He was 25 years old and looked like he was 21! On his 31st birthday, the blacksmith passed away, cursing Nails in his will for not making him more money. Nails only knew this life, so he went off by himself to find a new place to exist.

He traveled for a while and came by a small town adjacent to a city. There he found a company named Black&Smith, who hired him after seeing what he could do with a hammer in hand. He worked there for several years, seeing owners get born, raised, take over the business and die of old age. He did pick up the way they talked in this time, though. He did the work, they watched, so they became snobby bitches and tried to speak like snobby bitches.. Nails had been working there for a while and could not help but to pick it up and talk like that himself..

After he had been working there for 170 years, he wanted to move on. He had been in the same position of management that whole time.. At the bottom. He even made a insanely cool trinket, his crown achievement. The trinket held special powers only Nails knew about, and when he saw that the last owner didn't deserve it and wasn't worthy, he set out to find a worthy wearer.

Who knows, maybe get some adventures in there too!

He drifted for a year. Picked up the taste of alcohol and schooled himself in the arts of brewing. He got trained in combat and felt like slowing down a tiny bit before heading back out. So he entered a bar, sat down with a ranger and had a few beers while shooting the breeze.

After a while, two people come storming through the door. The tall half orc asks if there is anyone brave enough to help them out. Nails was currently holding a mug and wondering about the price of a new tankard for his brewingbusiness and new life. Upon hearing the call of the half orc, he turned instinctively in that direction and answered;

Here! Mugg Tankardsworth! May I be the penis to your vagina?